Entries from May 2008 ↓
May 31st, 2008 — Brain Gym
My fren forwarded to me through email this what so called Lawak Lucah.. just read and do your own muhasabah to yourself….. hehehehee ( gelak tak habis lagi ni)
Begini ceritanya…..
Seorang guru, Cikgu Murni (Umur: 22 tahun) menghadapi masalah dengan salah seorang muridnya (Abu). Lalu guru ini bertanya kepada murid tersebut : “Apa sebenarnya masalah awak, Abu?”
Lalu Abu menjawab, “Saya terlalu cerdik untuk berada di darjah 4, kakak saya menduduki UPSR dan saya lebih cerdik dari dia, maka saya seharusnya berada di tempat yang sama juga!”.
Cikgu Murni dah tak tertahan. Dia bawa Abu ke pejabat pengetua. Sementara Abu menunggu di ruang tamu, Cikgu Murni terangkan keadaan tersebut kepada pengetua. Pengetua mengatakan yang dia akan berikan ujian kepada Abu dan jika Abu gagal menjawab, maka Abu harus kekal di darjah 3 dan berkelakuan baik. Abu dibawa masuk ke pejabat Pengetua dan Cikgu Murni terangkan pada Abu dan Abu bersetuju untuk ambil ujian yang akan diberikan.
Pengetua: Apa 3 x 3?
Abu: 9
Pengetua: Apa 6 x 6?
Abu: 36
Pengetua terus bertanyakan soalan2 berdasarkan tahap pencapaian murid2 UPSR dan si Abu mampu menjawab tiap soalan yang diberikan. Lalu pengetua memandang Cikgu Murni dan berkata, “Saya rasa murid ini sepatutnya berada di darjah 6. Lalu Cikgu Murni berkata pada pengetua, “Saya ada soalan saya sendiri, boleh tak saya ajukan pada Abu?”. Pengetua dan Abu bersetuju.
Cikgu Murni: Apa yang lembu ada 4 di badan, tapi saya cuma ada dua?
Abu: (berfikir) Kaki
Cikgu Murni: Apa yang ada di dalam seluar kamu tapi tidak pada seluar saya?
Abu: Saku
Cikgu Murni: Apa yang bermula dengan huruf “K” akhir dengan “A”, ianya berbulu, berbentuk oval, nyaman dan mengandungi lapisan nipis keputihan?
Abu: Kelapa
Cikgu Murni: Apakah yang masuk keras dan berwarna “pink”, bila keluar lembik dan melekit?
Mata Pengetua terbuka luas dan sebelum sempat dia menahan, si Abu terus menjawab.
Abu: Gula-gula getah (Bubblegum)
Cikgu Murni: Apa yang mereka lakukan, lelaki secara berdiri, wanita secara duduk dan anjing secara tiga kaki?
Mata Pengetua sekali lagi terbuka sangat2 luas dan sebelum dia sempat hendak menahan si Abu terus menjawab.
Abu: Bersalaman
Cikgu Murni: Baik, sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan berbentuk siapakah saya, okay?
Abu: Baik Cikgu
Cikgu Murni: Awak memasukkan batang kedalam saya. Awak ikat saya untuk saya berdiri. Saya kebasahan sebelum awak.
Pengetua kelihatan resah dengan soalan yang diajukan oleh Cikgu Murni.
Abu: Khemah
Cikgu Murni: Jari memasuki saya. Awak menggesel-gesel saya bila awak teringatkan saya. Lelaki idaman akan mendapat saya dahulu.
Pengetua semakin resah dan tidak selesa. Lantas terus meneguk segelas Nescafe 3in1.
Abu: Cincin perkahwinan
Cikgu Murni: Saya ada bermacam-macam saiz. Bila saya sakit saya akan meleleh. Bila saya keluar, banyak tisu yang akan digunakan. Bila awak hembuskan saya, akan berasa lega.
Sekali lagi pengetua rasa amat resah dengan soalan yang di ajukan oleh Cikgu Murni dan ingin membantah, tapi si Abu mendahuluinya.
Abu: Hidung
Cikgu Murni: Saya batang yang keras. Hujungnya tajam. Saya akan datang dan masuk dengan lajunya.
Abu: Anak panah
Cikgu Murni: Sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan dalam Bahasa Inggeris, okay?
Abu: Okay
Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a ‘F’ and end in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?
Abu: Firetruck
Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if you dont get it you have to use your hand.
Abu: Fork
Cikgu Murni: What is it that all men have one of. It’s longer on some men than on others, the pope does not use his, and a man gives it to his wife after they are married?
Abu: Surname
Cikgu Murni: What part of the man has no bones but has muscles, lots of veins and loves pumping?
Abu: Heart
Pengetua menghembuskan nafas kelegaan bila mendengar jawapan yang diberikan oleh si Abu, lantas berkata “Baik hantar murid ini ke Universiti Malaya, jawapan yang saya fikirkan semuanya salah”.
P/s: Jika jawapan anda semua salah, anda adalah sama spesies dengan pengetua yang mempunyai pemikiran kuning. Heh Heh Heh
SO WHAT SPECIES ARE YOU … ABU, CIKGU MURNI or PENGETUA….
May 31st, 2008 — Ramblings
Last week I attended one program in Impiana Resort Cherating. During kelam kabut nak balik rumah that evening, I miss my Red Wing safety shoes at their lobby. I memang tak terperasan yang kasut tu tertinggal kat situ even after I arrive at home. After I cari nak guna kasut tu the next morning, baru I teringat yang kasut tu tertinggal kat sana and to make the matter worse I takde no tepon sana untuk pesan atau ask for that.
Almost 4 days after that I kebetulan nak pegi ke Kuantan lagi, then I singgah sekejap kat sana and dalam hati takde la berharap sangat nak jumpa balik kasut tu. To my surprise after i asked the receiption counter, their clerk cakap benda tu ada and call housekeeping to bring my shoes back to me.
So, thank you very much Impiana Resort Cherating and KUDOS to you for having a very high integrity staff. ( anyway my Red Wing safety shoes tu senang-senang boleh jual RM 200- 400 at black market)
May 29th, 2008 — Ramblings

Last two weeks memang havoc. I did a lot of things and had travelled to lot of places. I also had attended my 4-days skill group enhancement program and shortly after went fo a recce to Ipoh, Cameron HIghland, Sunway, Bukit Tinggi and few other interesting places for my company Family Day Program in 2008. And this week again attending my skill group program which is Project Management line (fyi Skill Group Program is a training program conducted by my company to give training and guidance for us (the doers) in ecah functional skill).
And today I have to attend a workshop or brainstorming session in Kuantan. This 3 days 2 nights program also is a program or initiative of my company to improve work processes in the workplace. But the good things is the schedule is not very tight and maybe I’ll have the times to pamper myself with jalan-jalan and shopping-shoppping coz I’ve planned to buy 8 Gig Pendrive and few other things.
Till then , see u again next time and hopefully with the pictures taken during my recce last week

Note : Which team do you support in Euro 2008 which will kick off in next 9 days. My prediction will be Germany and Italy and the dark horses will be Czech and Portugal. Are u ready for this tournament….. if not then you better watch out coz it’ll be coming soon to you ’special’ at http://fullyhalfemty.wordpress.com
May 26th, 2008 — Sports

I don’t blame Terry-Fic for missing the suddenth death penalty shoot-out during Champion League Final. His guts and determination during games throughout the season are marvellous should be taken as an example for every sportmen and sportwomen. Below is an open letter written by Chelsea skipper to all Blues Fans around the globe.
The Chelsea captain wrote:
‘To all the Chelsea fans, all my team-mates, the manager and staff at the club.
I am so sorry for missing the penalty and denying you the fans, my team-mates, family and friends the chance to become European champions.
Many people have told me I don’t need to say that but I feel I need to, that’s just me. I have relived that moment every minute since it happened. I have only slept a few hours and wake up every time hoping it’s all been a bad dream.
I have had some amazing support from fans, current and ex-players, family and friends and I need to thank everyone for that. But I am a big man and I take responsibility for us not winning.
I am and ALWAYS will be Chelsea through and through. I will give my all on and off the pitch to win this trophy as a player and one day as a manager. And I am sure we will win it.
That night in Moscow will haunt me forever and I feel I have let everybody down and this hurts me more than anything. I am not ashamed about crying. This is a trophy I have tried so hard year after year to win and it was just an uncontrollable reaction, I wear my heart on my sleeve, everybody knows that.
The road to Rome starts here, we have to try and turn this experience to our advantage. I am very proud of how far we have come this season with everything that has gone on.
Thank you for all your support for the team this season.’
Source: Chelsea.com
May 26th, 2008 — Sports

After battled for about 2 hours and 45 minutes in a game last Wednesday, Manchester United won the UEFA Champion League for a third time in their history. Won through penalty shoot-out of 6-5 after normal and extra time ended 1-1.
An epic grandeur of Moscow – the wide expanses of Red Square and vast boulevards bisecting the city provided a backdrop of suitable magnitude for a domestic rivalry now given a European dimension – this match was quintessentially English. The cavernous bowl of the Luzhniki Stadium even had the feel of the old Wembley as the rain poured and the two teams went at each other with the ferocity of a Sunday league, never mind Premier League, game. Claude Makelele’s raised arm on Scholes left his opponent with a bloody nose, Michael Ballack reacted angrily to Tévez’s tackle from behind and Essien clattered into Ronaldo again. Then there was Didier Drogba’s slap on Nemanja Vidić that earned a red card.
The hero for the night is none bigger than the Dutch goalkeeper who had the last word in his maybe last conquest in Ultimate European Club title. With Cristiano Ronaldo’s effort denied by Petr Čech, John Terry had had the chance to clinch it for Chelsea but slipped on the rain-soaked turf and sent his spot-kick wide. Fifty years on from the Munich air crash, it seemed nothing was going to stop this being United’s final.
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Anyway, Chelsea- Please get rid of DROGBA, Malouda, Ballack, Kalou, Sheva, Sidwell, Wright-Phillip, Anelka, Tel-Ben Haim..
Source: uefa.com
May 19th, 2008 — MyMalaysia
It was a big surprise for me after found out that our former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Bin Mohamad announced this morning that he is quitting Umno. Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad announced this on Monday at 12.35pm, citing a lack of confidence in the current leadership.”I am quitting Umno today,” he told about 1,000 people, mostly Kedah Umno members, at a talk here on Monday.
Tun Dr Mahathir urged other party members to quit too, as a way of pressuring Abdullah into vacating his post.However, he advised those who do quit not to join any opposition party, adding they can all rejoin the party once there is a change in leadership.
Double blow to UMNO happened when Tan Sri Sanusi Junid, who is a former Kedah Mentri Besar, also quit the party today.
Brief of Tun Mahathir
1946: Joined United Malays National Organisation (Umno).
1947: While a medical student, he wrote extensive anti-colonial commentaries in Malay newspapers under the pen-name “Che Det”.
1957: Resigned from government service as a doctor. Starts private practice.
1964: Entered active politics as Kota Star Selatan MP.
1965-1969: Member, Umno Supreme Council.
Sept 1969: Expelled from Umno for disciplinary reasons. Re-admitted on March 7, 1972.
June 1972: Elected a member of the Umno Supreme Council with the highest number of votes. Lost in the election for an Umno Vice-President post.
Dec 1972: Appointed a Senator by the Kedah State Legislative Assembly.
1974-2004: MP for Kubang Pasu, Kedah.
Sept 1974: Education Minister.
June 1975: Umno Vice-President.
March 1976: Deputy Prime Minister & Minister of Education.
1977: Acting Chairman, Umno Liaison Committee, Malacca.
Jan 1978: Deputy Prime Minister & Trade and Industry Minister.
May 1978: Chairman, Perak Umno Liaison Committee.
Sept 1978: Umno Deputy President.
June 1981: Barisan Nasional Chairman.
June 1981: Umno President.
July 16 1981: Fourth Prime Minister of Malaysia, Minister of Defence (until 1986) and Minister of Home Affairs (until 1999).
July 17 1987: Umno Political Bureau Chairman.
Feb 16 1988: Pro-tem President of Umno Baru. Umno was declared an illegal society on Feb 4, 1988.
Dec 1993: Kelantan Umno Chairman. Chairman, Politics and Constitution Committees of the Supreme Council.
Sept 1998-Jan 1999: Finance Minister. June 2001 - Finance Minister.
June 22 2002: Announced his intention to resign from all political and government posts at the final day of the 56th Umno assembly. Appeals from Umno Supreme Council members.
Oct 31 2003: Retired as PM and Umno president after 22 years.
Sept 2006: Fails in bid to be an Umno delegate for the Umno general assembly coming in ninth out of 15 contestants in the Kubang Pasu division.
May 19 2008: Quits Umno
Source: thestaronline
Damage: A lot’ and HUGE to UMNO and Barisan Nasional.
May 19th, 2008 — Ramblings
hi.. welcome to my webblog and hopefully this will last forever after so many trial and efforts from me ended halfway. set for betterment this time, i’ll set my KPI very low and for starting maybe 3-4 entries per month which i think is good enough for me. just like ‘anak dara’ or ‘anak teruna’, i would like to welcome any comments and suggestion for all aspects in blogging. until then, bye and jumpa lagi…
May 19th, 2008 — Brain Gym
My friend forwarded to me the interesting ‘Brain Check’ simulation.
The task is very simple and what you have to do is check whether you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise? If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.

Most of us would see the dancer turning clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.
Me… maybe both left and right brains work for me but this test or simulation still not precise enough and still could be manipulated… any tricks..yes just check the diagonal leg for anti-clockwise and her nice breast for clockwise.
Just to share the functions of the brain.
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LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe
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RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses feeling
“big picture” oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can “get it” (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking
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